Wednesday, January 10, 2007

aim high


hello Bury fans!

well Christmas has past and I’ve returned to England following a couple of weeks back home in an African country called Nigeria. you may have heard of it.

Christmas is about making dreams come true and I think it was a message from God that forced my return flight from Lagos to be diverted to the Cameroon capital Yaoundé.

whilst there, I had an impromptu game of football with two skinny Cameroonian boys on the airport apron outside. security isn’t as strict in African airports as an ex-friend of mine discovered when he was able to deliver hard core pornography to an Al-Qaeda group hidden below a McDonalds in Cairo.

they were keen to become the stars of English football and hearing that I was on my way to Manchester, they begged and cleaned my shoes before I agreed to letting them fly back home with me in the hope of getting a trial for Manchester Utd or the other club that they knew in Manchester, FC United.

they were to be disappointed though. not only did they not realise until they had sat down that they hadn’t pre-ordered a hot meal on the plane, to their horror, they had read the news article I was reading about Bury’s expulsion from the FA Cup.

this seemed more than a little unfair to them so they decided that it would be better to help out the Shakers by becoming the princes of Gigg Lane and then being sold on to a big English club for millions of pounds.

Mapi Isacce “Get down wid it” Mopi and Mbhangha “bust a groove” Belmondo claimed that their skills on the football pitch were like a sexy African beat and hoped that they’d be able to become the first African stars to grace the Gigg Lane turf. they’d previously washed dishes at Cameroon outfit Sahel FC de Maroua and once spotted Roger Milla walking a camel through Milgaté. not the shopping centre, a small Northern town in Cameroon known for its high number of teenage pregnancies and single mothers. a bit like Radcliffe but with less takeaways.

Mapi and Mbhangha (I met his sister too, I’dbanga) will be at Gigg Lane for a little while and will be able to play in a reserve game or two once Bury have sorted the paper work out. let’s just hope that Bury send in the correct spelling of their names or we could end up having some made-up players playing for us! how odd would that be?

good luck Bury fans!