Friday, June 29, 2007

no to Nigerians!

hello Bury fans!
i have just got home to hear that Nigerian legend Akanji Murphy is on trial at Bury! ever since Keith Alexandria’s arrival and his promise of long balls I’ve been writing letter after letter to try and get a trial at Gigg Lane but he’s been more occupied trying to get the that pisshead Tom Kennedy out of the club and away from the bright lights of the town.

it disappoints me that Nigerian legend Akanji Murphy could well become the first ever Nigerian at Gigg Lane as I was lead to believe that I had to sleep with at least five English women before I would be permitted a trial at the club, just like Akanji’s brother Barry Murphy did.

i’m a bit confused though as Brian and Akanji quite clearly aren’t from the same mother and Akanji (or was it Barry) claims he wants to move closer to his home in Ireland.

now I’ve heard plenty of rumours, not just about Kennedy but that some of the other Bury players have problems ‘behind the scenes’. i believe this to be that some have clashed with others about them being homosexual? could this be why the likes of Marc Pugh and Tom Kennedy were dropped and are now playing for the other side?

i have seen that official webmaster Gordon Sorefeet has been asking for suggestions to improve the new website. perhaps he could include a section were we can report any sightings of Bury players behaving inappropriately such as drinking after training or bumming on Goshen? maybe we should have a message board vote to have the final decision over whether we believe them to be a raging homo or not?

i have sent Akanji an e-mail recommending that he doesn’t surround himself with this sort and warned him that if you join Bury, they are all tight arses. i also warned him that right now, we’re a bit shit and he’ll have to pin or stand all of the awards he’s won in Malta up against the goal to do the work of the lack of team mates he currently has.

having said that I’ve just spotted we’ve signed Ben Fucker from Peterborough Utd? i have been told that he is 7 foot 6 inches? i had a team-mate for the football team I played for back home in Nigeria (my home) who was rumoured to be 8 foot tall. he became a soldier for the Nigerian army but was killed when he was shot in the head when he was kneeling down in a bunker.

good luck Bury fans!

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