Friday, April 13, 2007

time to bite back!

hello Bury fans!

we may be struggling in the league (we did okay in the cups) but this is a time to stick together. a quick read of the message boards show that many are still positive about this season and the likes of SuperBuryShaker should be followed and applauded. he’s just like the Dalai Lama. still, things could be worse.

a friend of mine lost a leg in a landmine explosion back home and everybody was devastated as it was obviously the end of his footballing career. he was a tricky left winger but unfortunately it was that particular leg that he lost.

some suggested that he could perhaps hop up and down on the right wing instead and whenever he got to the bye-line, somebody would be allowed to come on and hook in a cross. however the local league officials forbid this and that was the end of that.

still, he was a bit happier when the local tailors told him that they’d sell him trousers for half price.

so every cloud has a silver lining. i am thinking of emailing our clubs fans liaison officer Margaret Napkin to try to sort out an end of season party to celebrate or mourn what is yet to happen. this way I could meet up with some of the more established Bury fans and you could tell me some stories about our FA Cup final wins and promotions. obviously being a relative newcomer to the world of the Shakers I will have missed out on some of the glorious moments of our past but mark my words, I’ll be there for the ones in the future. Bury players, don’t mark my words as you’ll have departed and anyhow, you should be marking players. it would make a change.

today is Friday the 13th which I believe in England is a day of bad luck. you could say that if you were born in Nigeria or likewise Bolton, every day is a bad one but again, we like to look at the positives.

in my family, Wednesday the 18th was the day of bad luck so we vowed to stay indoors to keep ourselves alive on that day. unfortunately, after we’d bolted up the doors and hidden the key, we realised that we’d actually locked a tiger in our house and it ate my sister.

shit happens. Bury should learn from this.

finally, i believe that some Bury and Rochdale fans had a bet to see who would finish higher this season and the money would go to charity. i would like to suggest a Nigerian charity that this money could go to.

the charity helps to locate Nigerian tribespeople who are believed to have been kidnapped by Vampires and sold as prostitutes in Eastern Europe. and people say that the Brits get all the good stuff?

it is called ‘Save All Tribespeople - Nigerians against vampires’ (SATNAV) and I believe them to be a worthy cause so get donating.

good luck Bury fans!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Garbage, composed mainly of total and utter fucking shite, with a number of empty tins of bollocks, and a handful of non-biodegradable piss-poor plastic bags.