Thursday, January 26, 2006
hello Bury fans!
i am sure that like me you are enjoying the riveting action of the African Cup of Nations and cheering on the side representing my home nation which is Nigeria. i doubt that many people will pretend to be a Nigerian unless you are old and senile but I can imagine there will be plenty of glory hunting Africans who will change their nationality to cheer us on after we win the tournament.
we have just disposed of the cheating and evil Ghanaians, some of which happen to be good players whilst others only play in the hope that their side will get the chance to tour a European country and they can leg it. i’m sure that this wouldn’t happen if they visited Bury as the world famous police force would keep a close eye on them and not let them escape.
we had begun the second half of our 1-0 win with “menacing intent” according to BBC reporter Farayi Mungazi and this reminded me of the last tour that my old side went on before I moved over here (from Nigeria) to study.
Uche was known to be the prankster of the group and after dark, he would creep around the camp pretending to be a horny Nelson Mandela. sometimes he would go too far and on one particular occasion he began to play with my balls in the dark which had been given to me by my grandfather a few years earlier. nobody was allowed to open my sack and touch them, not even my girlfriend at the time.
we never wanted to be chosen to sleep in Uche’s tent but it was the luck of the draw. Uche was a very good winger and had a spell at a lower league French club called FC Poitiers before he got kicked out because he was sending hair gel back home to his starving family.
this has got me thinking though. Perhaps it would be a good idea for Bury to join forces with Nigerian universities and to offer trials to young Nigerian football stars? it would be great for Bury FC to be able to bring an African footballer to Gigg Lane (not a Ghanaian) and I would bring my Nigerian flag to the matches in the hope that he would spot me and befriend me and we could then go out cruising for women in his car.
i hope that you’ll all be cheering on the Nigeria national side when we take on Zimbabwe on Friday. Zimbabwe as you know are not in the good books of Tony Blair and this country. after we hand them a beating on the football pitch, perhaps England could move in and invade the country with the main intent being the discovery of the next Bruce Grobbelaar or Peter Ndlovu working on a local farm?
good luck Bury fans!