Thursday, August 31, 2006
putting my foot in it
hello Bury fans!
how disappointing were we for the first four league games? Bury have now even begun to affect my love life.
i met a lovely girl in Barratts in Manchester the other day. she was trying on a pair of stilettos. her feet were perfect. smooth and petite. pink painted and trimmed toenails. i once knew a guy in Nigeria whose nails were so long he could plough potatoes with them.
later, back at my place she took off her dress to reveal a pair of stockings. i think she was old fashioned. as I climbed on board I asked her name. Mona she replied. and she certainly was.
she was beautiful. long brown hair, green eyes. she said she was from Bolton. she couldn’t be. her fanny was so fresh.
we made love for hours. me on top, her on top, doggy style, the wheelbarrow and my speciality; the Graham Barrow. she loved how I whipped my long balls deep into her area.
by then though I had begun to be concerned. not that the pleasure should end prematurely but because of Bury’s plight at the bottom although by then I was enjoying my time in hers.
i had already made eleven marker pen dots on her back with Fettis nestled between those two little dimples above her rear. her hair pushed aside to cater for Bishop and Youngs. God knows what she thought I was doing to her.
later she told me I really knew how to satisfy a woman. i said that back home I’d pleased my mother for about twenty years. clearly misunderstanding me she was disgusted and left in a hurry, the door slamming shut behind her.
i kept her stilettos though. it saves money on buying presents at Christmas. i may even be able to afford to go to Accrington on Boxing Day. whoever they are.
good luck Bury fans!