Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Nugent not a gent

hello Bury fans!

well it seems like, as was the case last year, that we have suffered a poor start to our league season and the finger of blame can be pointed at just one person - David Nugent.

had Nugent not decided to better himself and move to the West End we could well have been chasing promotion this season.

i got talking to a Bury fan whilst at Sandy’s Superstars escort parlour the other week. he said he was just there to relax and calm down and said he posted on the message boards sometimes, either as Colin Marrison or somebody who hated Oldham.

he said that we should blame Eaves. i said “whose Eaves?” and he just said “yes”. all very confusing for a Nigerian. i wish some people would speak more slowly or just shut up completely. highly annoying. thankfully he left for his booking soon after with his lady calling him through 30 minutes later than the time he’d arranged. he angrily said he was going to give her a mouthful.

i returned home the other week to find my e-mail inbox completely jammed with spam. many of the messages were apparently from Nigerians claiming that I was in their will.

one of my casual sex friends also received such a message, saying that she would receive £850,000 to secure her future if she sent her account details to a Mrs Eata Onionbaji in Lagos.

the clue to this scam is in the name. Eata is not a name from the province that Lagos, where she claims to be from, is located. It is a name from the NORTHERN province of Hausa. some people are just plain stupid.

however, I think that should Bury receive £850,000 for the future sale of David Nugent, we could well change the direction of this football club. whilst these untrustworthy fake ‘Nigerians’ try to con us out of our money via e-mail, I urge Neil Warnock, who sounds like a great man, to come in and bid for Nugent.

perhaps Warnock could take over our club and guide us to success and glory like he has done at Sheffield Wednesday and on the board at Wigan Warriors? he’s obviously got an eye for talent.

good luck Bury fans!

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