Thursday, March 16, 2006

lights! camera! Odebayo!


hello Bury fans!

i have decided to begin a ‘kick racism out of messageboards’ campaign (KROM) to ensure that everybody can post freely and happily but without discrimination of this nature. i have begun to write a speech for the announcement and it involves wiping the letters R, A, C, I, S and M (Racism) off the keyboard.

this is a matter of importance to me and those keys should never be used again is what I shall say to those who choose to follow.

o f o now on, un l get bo ed of t, i h ll type l ke th .

already I have changed my mind. this would confuse some people, even those that use ‘text speak’.

do I have to understand ‘text speak’ to subscribe to the official Bury Football Club text service? as you can tell sometimes, my English isn’t always brilliant having not lived over here for too long and I do not want to get confused if the messages are in this form of language.

i have already seen one of the texts on a friends mobile phone and it said ‘BBM SUB 55’. this kind of language belongs on a dyslexic scrabble board.

anyway, all of this is a little too serious for me as I am a happy sort of person who just loves to enjoy Bury FC and tell you stories about my life. racism should only be discussed if we are trying to get rid of it and not when trying to promote it (Mr B Pudding – if that is your real name).

i hear that some people think that we will be in League Two next season. safe from relegation? we’re not safe until the fat lady sings. Margaret Napkin, our fans liaison officer should arrange a party to celebrate should we avoid the drop. we could all wear a label so that we know who each other really is.

i have now received over 50 e-mails from people telling me that they are enjoying my tales which bring the people of Nigeria and Bury together as one. another 50 of them and I’ll be as popular as ‘Dude, Where's My Car?’

speaking of movies, I have begun to write a screenplay about my journey from a small village in Africa to a city in England before finally supporting and playing for the local football club, the Mighty Shakers. i have started to compile a list of some of the best thespians in the world to play the characters in my story. this will be an equal opportunities film.

the list so far, in order of appearance: -

Will Smith – Mr Odebayo
Whoopi Goldberg – Mrs Odebayo
Myself – Rudi Odebayo
Scarlett Johansson – Girlfriend 1
Liz Hurley – Girlfriend 2
Angelina Jolie – Girlfriend 3
Cameron Diaz – Girlfriend 4
Penelope Cruz – Girlfriend 5
Lucy Liu – One night stand
Charlize Theron – Nurse
Jenna Jameson – Gay male doctor

good luck Bury fans!

2 comments:

Shakersfan said...

Keep it going, whoever you are!

Cheers

catawalq said...

i swear, you are a special case.